Mid-Career Crisis

I am currently in a start-up business with two other partners but the business doesn't seem to pick up at all despite we putting in money and time to keep it alive. Personal conflict among partners about our business direction grows bigger and we are gradually losing my confidence and momentum to work. Everyday I am just counting the day when I will leave the start-up.

But, here comes my next bigger problem: What am I going to do after that?

So, I am facing my mid-career crisis now. How can I get out of this crisis?

My inner voice tell me that I need to start planning now for my next career.

So, what would I like to do next?

I see a number of choices.

Back to employment

Now I really like/miss the life of getting a pay check every month.

Maybe I could do a U-turn and go back to my ex-company. That could be my easiest way to get employed again. I have a feeling that my ex-company still need my experience and skill (and to solve old bugs that I left in their software). I just need to send them a signal. But, I feel ashamed to do that. I just don't feel comfortable to face my ex-colleagues again.

I also feel very reluctant to go through the formal process of job application (job search, resume writing, job interview, etc.) again. At this middle-age, I know my chance of getting an interview through this formal process is very slim. I don't want to waste my time.

What I could hope for is through the back-door process, that is to get a job through introduction/recommendation by friends/contacts working in companies. But, again I feel ashamed to tell my friends or contacts that my start-up has failed and I need a job urgently. I think I will wait for the moment when I have to tell them the truth (when I can't hide any more) and hopefully they will introduce me a job opening. Anyway, I don't have many friends or contacts either.

I have been working as software engineer in a number of software factories/sweatshops since I started working. Really, I hate the life of software engineer. If possible, I don't want to get into this again.

See, I am still quite choosy about my next job. Do I have a choice now?

Start a new business myself

I don't have much experience, network nor communication skill as a businessman. But I think that is not important. With a spirit of entrepreneurship, I think what's most important is to ask myself: what can I sell that most people want.

My current startup (though it looks like going to fail) has taught me a few lessons:

• know your customer well.
• sell thing that your customer really need (to solve their problem or to save their money), and be quick.
• sell a total solution, not just a piece of software/hardware.
• sell thing that is niche/specialized in the market.

I know I am not born/grow to be a entrepreneur. I need to ask myself, do I have the gut to start and run a business. What drive/motivate me to be an entrepreneur? How can I made use of my job experience and (software development) skills? All that need time and effort for me to reflect and research, and hopefully to build up a business plan. It will take some time.

Go freelancing

May be I could get freelance/contract job from my ex-company. That won't be difficult, I think. But, like I have mentioned above, I feel ashamed to make a U-turn.

So, I can only look for freelance job out in the market. I still don't have any idea how to get this kind of freelancing software development work here. Some networking is needed.

Anyway, I don't think I like freelancing as my next career, mainly because of instability of income, and not-so-good public image of freelancer here. It can only be my short term job while I look for a proper employment, or start my new business.

Get back to school

I could also get back to school to re-train myself for the next career. But, first of all, I need to know what is my next career first.

So, what should I do next?

Right now I really don't have a clear direction but to walk into each path a little more to see what is further down the road, and then decide which path I should take. This mid-career crisis has already engulfed me and I need to plan my strategy carefully to get out of it. It is a test for me. I hope I can face it with a positive mind.